2010. A year which I’m *so* glad its gonna end in.. 5 hours time! =D
A lot of good memories were formed this year. Along side that, a lot of terrible/horrible/unpleasant things happened as well.
I’m grateful for all the good which happened to me this year.
2011, I hope u’ll be nicer than 2010.
Happy New Year everybody! =)
Recently Demi Lovato was placed under the microscope due to an emotional breakdown and apparently she is rumoured to be seeking treatment in rehab for self mutilation and eating disorders. Demi just turned 18. Honestly, my heart goes out to the girl. I remember being a teen and having issues and dealing with them without rehab and thank God, I survived this far. I think its smart of her to go to rehab this early and not turn out to be another LiLo or Brit.
Self mutilation is not something most people talk about. And those who have the tendency to self mutilate are usually seen as ‘weirdos’ or freaks. But I think the society is too quick to judge a person based on what they do. People do things for a reason, and it doesn’t necessary mean we understand it, but that does not give us the right to judge them. Maybe she was cutting her self ( if she was, that is) to numb the emotional pain. Emotional pain is something no one else can understand. People may say, “I know how you feel”, but they wont fully understand it because they don’t FEEL it. Feeling it and thinking that you know how it feels are two different things. You will only truly understand what someone else is going through if you have been in their position before. If you haven’t, then you can only imagine it, not feel it.
I think in this country, problems like eating disorders and so on among teens aren’t being highlighted. To most of us, it is just something we read about which the people in Hollywood are doing/ going through. And to some of us, we suffer in silence to avoid judgement from those who will never understand us. For the lucky ones, we find our way out by ourselves, for the unlucky ones, we succumb to the devastating end if nothing was done to pull us out of the situation we are in.
I guess I was one of the lucky ones.
At the end of the day, having a good support system and non-judgemental people around you is the best bet to get over any problem. Not all of us are blessed with that kind of a support system, for those without it, I think being mentally strong is the only way to get out it.
You can read about Demi here.
Once upon a time, not too long ago, in semester 6, we were told to choose our semester 7 projects. Although that day feels like yesterday,it was actually quite some time back. I still remember going through the list of projects and finding so many interesting ones. Not knowing what to do, I decided to read further in detail for one of the projects, then I wanted to do that, unfortunately, there were limited places for what I wanted, hence, a chance I won’t get it. So I prepared Plan B, another project which seems interesting. Somehow, at the end of the day, I was torn between project A and B. Therefore I did what 99% of people will NEVER do (I’m that 1% who actually did it).
When in doubt, ask the dog!
I know you guys are going “WHAAAAT??!!” right now, but hey, Paul the octopus wasn’t wrong you know! So yes, I asked Pumpkin the dog. I made her choose 1 of the two research projects and she did, and I blindly followed her choice. Call me crazy for following what a dog chose, but didn’t most of you believe in Paul? And by the way, Pumpkin has like an 80% accuracy in predicting exam questions, believe it or not, the nights before EOS, and I’m not sure what to read, I ask her to choose which lecture note to read, and usually, the ones she chooses comes out for essay questions. So yea, I have faith in my dog. :)
Anyway, since I had already decided to follow Pumpkin’s decision, when I finally got my supervisors signature on that paper, I was in doubt. What if I was wrong to follow what a dog chose?? ( yes, i was using logic at that time) But anyhow, at that time, I couldn’t change my project even if I wanted to.
So we proceeded to semester 7.
In the beginning of the semester, I was to go to HKL with 2 of my batch mates whom I wasn’t as close to as I was to my normal clique. This was something new. This was outside of my comfort zone. Little did I know, that the experience I shared with them, the disappointment of not meeting the target patients for each day, the pain of standing from 8am-1.30pm and the pain of data collection would bring us closer to one another.
In those gruelling hours of data collection, followed by stats analysis, did we learn more about each other. In those moments, we became closer and forged new bonds of friendship. We endured hardships which only we understood, and no one else. We knew the pain of making tables ( although it seems like something small right now, it was BLOODY annoying to do!). We figured things out together as we proceeded with our project, I guess you could say we became somewhat like the three musketeers or something but not exactly the “musketeer” thingy.
This semester is the semester where we had to figure things out for ourselves with guidance from our supervisors. This semester, I think I’ve learnt more than the previous 6 semesters combined. I’m not talking about academic stuffs, I’m talking about character and well, life lessons. Maybe I’ve learnt so much this semester more than the others because this semester, I was placed outside of my comfort zone.
This semester, I’ve learnt that :
1. Things aren’t always what they seem to be. (OK, so maybe I’ve learnt this before,but this semester, it reinforces it)
2. Anger, clouds your perception. ( learnt this VERY recently. an open apology to all of those affected by my outburst. Didn’t mean to unload it on you. And to those GREAT friends who stood by me and helped me go through it, THANK YOU for being understanding.:) )
3. Going in blind is sometimes the best way to learn. This is my other way of saying, we learn best from our mistakes. Honestly, if I hadn’t made mistakes on my data analysis, I wouldn’t have to read further up on the issue, and I wouldn’t have learnt so much. Sometimes, having minimal guidance is way better. I now know how to do a proper data analysis.
4. The strength of friendship was tested. All these semesters, I’ve been with the same bunch of people. This semester, I wasn’t. And what I realised is that true friendship can last the test of time. :) Those friendships which we re not meant to be, will wilt away as time progresses. Guess I now know who my true friends are! :)
5. Patience goes a LONG way. There have been MANY times when I get frustrated with my work. I huff and I puff and I tell my self, keep going. You’ve done so much, giving up would be such a waste. Taking a deep breath and giving yourself that mental push helps you go further.
6.Sometimes, we are all alone. And we have to quit whining and deal with it!
7. There is no point in depending on others to get your work done. Just do it yourself!
8. Being understanding. There have been times where I was a spoilt brat, and people around me were understanding. And so I decided to learn from them, and be understanding as well.
9. Being caring. This is something I learnt from the nurses at GHKL. I admire their patience, and they helped me define “caring”. I guess I did choose the right career path after all.
10. Not to be the germ-o-phobic girl! YES, you read right! I’m no longer afraid of germs/bacteria/viruses ect. I’ve been a germ-0-phobe all this while, and somehow, my stint at HKL kind of..deleted that from me. weird right?????
11. Learning more about KL! My dear Khai Mei and Huey Chin (both not from KL) took me ard KL and taught me more about how to use public transportation to get to my FAV malls!! :D
12. Walking is fun! Once again, credit goes to Khai Mei and Huey Chin for doing something to that “pampered princess” within me who would have probably cried her eyes out if made to do some walking. Walking from HKL to the LRT station – not something I would do, but I learnt how NOT to be princess about it. :)
All said and done, the semester is about to end. We are all moving ahead to semester 8. I’ll be heading off to Malacca, meaning this will be my first time staying away from home. Oh well, there is always a first for everything right?? I know its not going to be easy, and I know that there will be ALOT of challenges ahead, but I’m excited! I’m excited because once again ,like this semester, I’m moving out of my comfort zone. This means more opportunities to learn and grow. While people were complaining in why they got posted away from home, I was excited. :)
I’m excited to see what Malacca has to offer.
My built-up frustration abt something is killing me from the inside.
If tell people about it, they think I’m a selfish bitch, but those who are on the same boat as me will truly understand what I’m going through.
And FYI, this is NOT the first time it has happened to me.
My patience is wearing thin. One of these days, I might just give some people a piece of my mind.
People tend to say that girls cause drama, but in reality, guys are pretty good at it too!
You see, there is this guy I know , and he is just a normal friend, the kind where you just say hi to, and chat a little to kill time and stuff but NOT a special friend. So recently, I haven’t been talking to him on FB, and most of the time I’m busy, and he is from a different country, so different time zone, hence I’m awake when he is asleep and vice versa, and suddenly, he sends an IM on FB and goes, “I’ve been busy too you know, but at least I try to make time for you”. And then he goes offline. –.-“.
OK.
A. I never asked anyone to make time for me. (Unless you are my really close friend, which in this case is not applicable).
B. WTF??? Ur just a FRIEND. And if I’m busy, I’M BUSY. I’ll talk to you if I have the time! I don’t HAVE to make time for you! AND I’M NOT EVEN THAT CLOSE TO YOU.
And thanks to the “delete” button available on FB, someone has been deleted from my friends list on FB.
~The End~
Don’t get me wrong, I do value my friends.
But friends are suppose to be UNDERSTANDING.
~Iris~
And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight
And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know you’re alive
Today I decided to go to the crocs warehouse sale at Ikano Power Centre. I was so excited because I’m a DiGi user and I’ll get a RM10 voucher if I spend more than RM100 in a single receipt, PLUS, I have been wanting to buy their heels and their chequered flats. The papers said that only the first 500 customers get 70% or something like that la..am not too sure.
ANYWAY, I left my house at 10, went for brunch with my parents and then headed off to the 2nd floor. When I reached there, there was a line! Nevermindla, I thought, I’ll just line up and get in and buy what I want. And so I lined up for 45 minutes, and when I got in, I was greeted by the RM30 pile, which was crocs for kids, and as I moved along, I came across more crocs for kids, and then I reached the adults side, and they had those big head crocs which weren’t what I wanted, and then FINALLY, I saw one of the ladies one which I wanted!
So I searched the pile and only came across orange and grey, so I asked the sales person there, “ Do u have this in black?” and she said, “ No, only grey and orange and only size 9 and 10”. WTH??!?!
A. They don’t have the colour I want
and
B. They don’t have my size!
So I said thank you and kept moving.
And I saw nothing which I liked. And I left that crowded mad house. I spent 45 minutes queuing up for it and spent less than 15 minutes inside of it.
When I told my mom about it she said, “That is why they call it warehouse sales.” –.-"
Go there only if you want to buy for your kids, or if you are a guy (cause they had loads for the guys) and for the girls, go there if your size is 9 or 10 or 4 and if u like grey/orange/ bright pink. And the items there aren’t that cheap. The one I wanted, in the normal store would have cost me 120 or 130 I think, and here they were selling for 80 bucks. Yes, it’s cheaper, but it’s not what I want. And do go there early. It starts at 10am, I went there at 11 and queued up for 45 minutes.
And the thing which I don’t get is how these ppl can go in and buy SOOOO much! You would actually think that they were giving it away for free!!
I hope the book fest at KLCC wont be a disappointment as well.
There is a cycle which I’m going through right now, and that cycle involves me reading something, changing/editing it, printing it, realising something is wrong, edit/fix it,print it,…and the cycle goes on.
I’m at the point where I’m hyperventilating right now. And I’m feeling frustrated!!
When will this end????????????????
Cannot tahan!!! >.<
If you’re going to do something or offer something, do it whole heartedly. Don’t piss me off by first saying no, and then saying yes, and then making me look like a bloody incapable idiot!
If I want something, don’t stand in the way of me getting it, don’t try to interfere and give me problems.
I’m sick of you.
Once upon a time I hardly trusted anyone and I judged everyone by their covers. But as I aged, I was proved over and over again that you can never judge a person by the way they look. So I decided to have a new perspective and not judge people. And somewhere along that line, I decided to trust people as well. Nothing wrong with not judging people and trusting them right?
Wrong!
Fine, not TOTALLY wrong, its just wrong at the trust part.
Over the years I’ve decided to trust people, and I’ve been disappointed by a lot of people. Well, to think of it, I don’t think they disappointed me, I think I was the cause of my own disappointment. I placed so much trust and expectations in them only to be let down. Then was when I realised that you’re a much happier person when you don’t have expectations!
Trust. A tricky thing trust is. You trust someone initially, and then they go and do something, or their actions point out something, and then you lose your trust in them. And if there is a responsibility attached to that trust, it will suck. Trust me, because I’m speaking from experience here.
When you trust a person with something, you will feel happy and secure. But when you find out later that that person is not someone to be trusted, your walls of security crumbles. It crumbles just like how a cookie would when you squash em’ in your fist. And once that security crumbles away, you’ll feel vulnerable, and insecure, and PISSED OFF at whoever that person is.
To be honest, if you trusted that person blindly, then you shouldn’t be mad at them, you should be mad at yourself for giving away your trust so easily.
Always make a person earn your trust.
Never give it away blindly.
And never judge a person by the way they look. 99.9% of the time, things aren’t what they seem to be.
I’ve had this song stuck in my head ever since I started watching Pretty Little Liars. =)
It is unfortunate that the finale is coming soon. But I shan’t be depressed for long because Gossip Girl, Vampire Diaries, Grey’s Anatomy and Supernatural is starting soon! :)
“Secret” – by The Pierces
Got a secret
Can you keep it?
Swear this one you'll save
Better lock it, in your pocket
Taking this one to the grave
If I show you then I know you
Won't tell what I said
Cause two can keep a secret
If one of them is dead…
Why do you smile
Like you have told a secret
Now you're telling lies
Cause you're the one to keep it
But no one keeps a secret
No one keeps a secret
Why when we do our darkest deeds
Do we tell?
They burn in our brains
Become a living hell
Cause everyone tells
Everyone tells…
Yes two can keep a secret
If one of us is…. Dead.
There is utter chaos around me.
Physically as well as psychologically.
I know I need to deal with it ASAP. But the thing is, every time I go “ Tomorrow, I will do this and that and finish this”, someone or something will crop up and I have to deal with it/them and delay what I planned and at the end of the day, there is just accumulated chaos.
I’ve reached the peak of it. I can’t stand the amount of chaos and lack of organization in my life.
I look at my table and I hyperventilate.
I don’t heart messy tables, I heart organized tables.
I was out the whole day and when I came back to write my thesis, I saw my table and got irritated. Its such a mood killer!
I was going to clean it up tomorrow, and then I get a call from someone and looks like I wont be free to clean up my table tomorrow.
I seriously wish I could just vanish and go MIA for a weekend just so that I can get my life and TABLE back in order.
And I also need a new book case. The old one is full and I have so many new books but no where to put them!!!!
I NEED ORGANIZATION IN MY LIFE ASAP.
AND I NEED TO QUIT DELAYING STUFF!!!!
You always think you know a person,and then, something happens which changes everything.
This is applicable in relationships and friendships.
I guess people aren’t what they seem to be. I think people tend to masquerade in order to fit in. I don’t deny it, I masquerade as well, but not to fool people into thinking that I’m someone else, but to hide certain things to maintain my privacy. No matter what they tell you, if you confide in someone (unless that someone is trustworthy and you are extremely close to them), it is bound to get out. Maybe not immediately, but maybe 10 years down the road. Its human nature, don’t hate it, embrace it. Which explains why I rarely tell people really personal stuff about myself. But that’s because I have trust issues.
I’m not going to talk about my trust issues, I’m going to talk about people.
Have you ever attempted to study a person before?
I’m not asking you to judge them, I’m saying study them.
When you do so, you’ll realise certain characteristics about them, good and bad. You’ll also be able to predict their next move, and then you will realise how easy it is to understand people. Once you’ve studied them, you will have a rough idea about the way they think and their personality, and you can understand them better. Studying a person also helps you detect those who are masquerading and those who aren’t.
But not all of us have the time and skill to study a person. When we get the masquerading people, we take time to understand them, and accept them and get to know them, until one day, they take their mask off and you see the real person behind the mask and realise that you’ve been fooled. That is when you get the shock therapy and go, “ I never knew he/she was that kind of a person”.
You’ve been fooled to think that you knew them. You thought they were someone else, and it turns out that they weren’t.
I guess this happens a lot. And to most of us.
I think people should stop masquerading just to fit in. Because I think it is the same as lying and being fake.
Are you fake?
Are you a liar?
Nobody is perfect. We all have our flaws in character, some more than others. And there comes a time where you face a road-block because of your flaws,and you get freaking nervous! Honestly, I saw this coming. Nothing new.
It’s just that I’ll have to stand there and face the judgement and comments and whatever else which comes with it.
Its a FLAW.
Don’t JUDGE me.
Upset.
Frustrated.
Depressed.
Sad.
Unprepared.
Disappointed.
Stressed.
Confused.
I just listed out my current emotions. All I want to do is curl up and cry my eyes out.
No matter what they say, at the end of the day, you realise they can’t do much.
At the end of the day, it is up to you. You realise that this is a solo journey, and passer-bys never stay long enough to share those emotions with you.
It’s.just.you.
They tell you they’ll be there for you, but they wont. They just want to make you feel better for a brief second before allowing reality to set in. They say they care, but trust me, they only care about themselves, and you are there just to entertain them.
They say they understand you, but inside all they do is judge you. The only person who understands you is YOU.
So why bother?
Why bother to let them in?
Why bother to help them understand you?
Why?
Isn’t masquerading so much easier?
You tell me.
Expectations are bad.
You anticipate something and when it doesn’t happen, you are shattered.
Or it could go the other way around, where people expect something from you and suddenly you feel pressured to live up to their expectations and when you don’t, you feel bad. :(
Have you ever tried NOT having any expectations?
When you don’t have any expectations, you will find that people around you are capable of surprising you.
You might just surprise yourself as well.
Moral of the story, say no to expectations!
=)
Lack of sleep and too much of thinking makes me cranky. It is the end of the week, and I’ve been SUPER over worked this week. While others have been busy with their proposals, I was too..I was also busy with other things. And not to mention the lack of sleep! Definitely affected my productivity.
Today was the worst! I desperately needed sleep to function properly today and I din get that sleep. :(
I was practicing my presentation and it was literally like an outer-body experience. The one where you’re doing it on auto-pilot and have no idea what ur doing.
Gosh.
I.
Need.
Sleep.
Good night!
Anybody took a look at the time table yet?
And to those who did take a look, do you feel the stress?
I mean, I peaked at the workload sheet and realised that we are prolly gonna start sem 8 really soon after sem 7 and that means the final, yes, final semester before we graduate and move out into the harsh reality.
Gosh, how time flies.
I feel like it was only yesterday when I was done with sem 4 and I was thinking that I’m half way there. And here I am, shocked at how fast it all moved.
Half of me wants to run backwards, the other half is excited for what is to come. I think the reason why I want to run backwards is because I’m afraid of what lies ahead, but then again, since I’m aware of my “fear”, I can deal with it. I have another year left to deal with it and mentally prepare my self for the future.
And I’m also excited for the future because I think it is going to be challenging and I think it will be fun to see how I make it out there. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves now shall we?
I’m currently excited for sem 7 because this time around it is not the same as the old semesters where there’ll be just lectures/workshops/PSDs/ practicals/ etc. This semester is something new, and I’m excited! :)
And to those haven’t heard it yet, Dr.Madhu has left IMU =(. I bumped into her yesterday. But Dr.Arjun is still around. =)
I woke up today from a very weird dream. A dream that in a way I wished was reality and that I never woke up from.
I dreamt of my grandma. She was in a wheelchair and she was talking to me, and we were chatting. And when I woke up, I realised that I missed her.
Most of you wouldn’t really know my grandma’s story. Well if you put together the time she’s spent living with my family, it would be around 18 years or so, on and off. So yea, it can be said that I was close to her. In 2006, she had a fall, fractured her leg, and became bed-ridden.Then a year later, in August 2007, just about a month after I entered IMU, she had a stroke. She then became what we call a ‘vegetable’. She can’t talk, can’t open her eyes, can’t eat, can’t move. Basically, it is like she’s having a very long nap.And she gets fed through a tube.
A week before her stroke, I visited her and spent like 3 hours, just talking to her.I talk nonsense to my grandma and she still listens to me as if I’m sane. To date, she is the ONLY person who understands me when I speak Tamil. (Yes, I do speak Tamil, but I only do it to save my life because I suck at it,and if i do have to speak, i struggle,a LOT).
So when I woke up from this dream, I wished that she was still able to talk to me, that she was around for me to practice my crappy Tamil on. I woke up today to realise that I miss my grandma. And I do have regrets. Remember when I said that she lived with my family and I most of her time? She did. And when I was a teen, I was a pain the ass. I was selfish. It wasn’t until she had a stroke when I realised I won’t be able to talk to her anymore. I sometimes think back at the times when I was younger, and she would wanna talk to me, and I would just tell her that I’m busy or something, just so that I can do my own thing, and I don’t have to talk to her,or the time when it was just me and her at home and I would lock my self in the room and leave the TV on downstairs so that I don’t have to entertain her and I regret being that way to her. I guess I learnt my lesson the hard way. And yes, I already told you, I was a horrible person when I was a teen, a person I’m kind of ashamed of. But thank God I’ve changed.
And I missed the fun times I shared with her. The times when me and my bro will tell her absolutely ridiculous stories, and she would believe it, or we thought she did. She knew we were talking nonsense and she played along to entertain us. I miss the times she would argue with my parents not to punish me when I did something naughty when I was a kid. She was always on my side.
I woke up today in tears, because I realised how I wasn’t grateful for the people and the things I had in my life when I did have them, and now, no matter what I do, there are something's which I can’t get back.
But I am grateful for the 3 hours I spent talking to her the week before she had a stroke. I can still talk to her, but the it is just that she can’t talk back. I still sit by her bed and update her every time I visit her because I don’t know if she can hear me or not, but if she can, I’m sure she’ll want to know what's going on.
I just really miss talking to her. It is not the same when the person you are talking to doesn’t answer back.
And the whole day, I just had that feeling in me. I really don’t know how to explain it, it is like a tooth ache, always there, not too painful to immobilise you, but it hurts and you want it to stop.
And as I said, I learnt my lesson the hard way. Ever since that day, I always spend more time with my parents,got rid of the attitude problem, and I hope to be a better person than who I was before. I’m now more grateful for the things I have.
I don’t wanna live in regret.
The moral of the story: Anyone out there who still doesn’t know how to appreciate what you have, LISTEN to me, and start cherishing them. Why? Because I said so and I’m always right!
:p
How many of you guys out there have read any book by Mitch Albom?
I’m a fan, a HUGE fan of his.
Have you read his books? They are mind blowing. Literally. After reading his books, I’ll need time to breathe and digest whatever I’ve read because they are that powerful. His books are life changing.
I’ve read all of his books; Tuesdays with Morrie, The Five People You Meet in Heaven, For One More Day, and Have a Little Faith.
His books will make you think in a way you may not have thought before. It sheds light on things which you might have wondered about, but never really figured out. It might even change your life.
After reading The Five People You Meet in Heaven, I wasn’t afraid of death anymore. Have a little Faith opened my eyes to things around me which I have questioned before.
All his books changed me for the better. They make me happy and they teach me how to be a better person. His books also taught me what’s important in life, what needs to be prioritised, and it made me scrutinise my own life-style and the way I think.
I can relate to his books, in more than one way. And I always re-read them because they bring me peace. In times when I’m super pissed, or when I’m depressed and am confused, I read his books.
I have my own demons to face everyday,and his books help me deal with them.
Thank God for Mitch Albom.
Anitha, Radhika and I went shopping today! :)
Joanne was suppose to come but she was sick. :( Hope she gets well soon.
I bought a top, a pair of flats, a pair of heels and some earrings.
I still don feel satisfied.
I need to shop again.
This time, I’ll focus more on clothes, since I already have my shoes :)
Shopping is so therapeutic! It removes all negativity from my soul. It makes me feel happy. Happy is good. :)
Since the exams have ended and I’ve collected my results, till now, the best word to describe my emotions is: volatile.
One minute I’m good, the next I’m not!
I’ve had my share of highs and lows, the joy and the frustration.
The frustration.
I’ve been taking care of Pumpkin for 4 weeks now. She’s been sick. In the past 4 weeks it has been crazy. Some days her condition will improve, and some days it worsens. Today it worsened. She’s been limping around since morning and in order to minimise her movement, she decided to just sleep 24/7. She doesn’t want to eat or drink. Meaning I have to force food and water down her.
If you are wondering what’s wrong with her, she’s having something the vet calls “tick fever”. And the irony of the WHOLE situation is that she has NO ticks, and there are no other dogs living in house which can infect her, meaning she must have contracted it from the Groomers. And usually, the chances of that happening is low, but it happened. *sigh*
The Annoyance.
Ok, I think everyone knows I dislike liars, I mean, who likes them? And one thing I don’t get is why people lie? And the best part of it all is that they continue lying TO YOUR FACE without realising that you know they are lying. SERIOUSLY, telling someone the truth is A MILLION times better than lying to their face. No matter how bad you THINK they are gonna react, it is still better than lying to them. Liars are so annoying!
The other thing which is annoying is promising someone something and cancelling it the very second before. Gosh! I feel like slapping these people!
The Joy.
I’ve been visiting a lot of people this holidays and they include friends, uncles, aunties,nieces, nephews… and the list goes on.
And I’ve been shopping! :D
Ok. Some of you might already know that I’ve been in love with David Cook(DC) since he started on American Idol.
I’ve been loyal to DC all these years, ( Adam Lambert does not count since he is gay) UNTIL NOW.
My new DC is…………………………… (drum roll please)
LEE DEWYZE!!
In case u think I’m being shallow, it was not his looks which made me switch from DC to this guy, it was this performance…
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m not being shallow OK! I think the guy is hot based on the way he sings, not the way he looks!!!!
Fine, I think he is hot based on the way he looks when he sings, BUT the point IS, if I did not see his performance, I would still be in love with DC.
So, I’m hoping this guy wins tomorrow! Honestly, Crystal totally rocks as well, but I’m in love with Lee. :)
Go LEE!!!
p/s: Special thanks to Kah Yee for introducing him to me. =p
Teachers/lecturers/parents or whatever else you call them, they all have the same meaning. They serve the same purpose.
They are educators.
Patient, understanding, forgiving, selfless, optimistic people who actually care about us and make an effort to help us out and make sure we are on the right track.
They plant seeds of knowledge and wisdom in our heads and hope that we grow and bloom into something better.
They are the ones who sit by us and impart knowledge and wisdom into our short-sighted, foolish, rash minds and hope that we will become wiser.
They are the ones who help us get up and walk again no matter how many times we fall down.
They never give up on us.
The only thing they want in return is to see us succeed in our lives, and to see that their hard work actually paid off.
They were the hands which have helped in moulding us into the individuals we are today.
They were there when we were growing up and making mistakes, and they taught us how to learn from those mistakes and how to grow.
They never judged us.
They give us so much and rarely get anything in return, but they don’t complaint.
Happy Teacher’s Day to all the teachers out there. Thank you for being there for us when we needed you.
Where do I start????
Ok, when they told me to pick an elective early this year, I decided I wanted to train at GSK Ampang. And that failed. So, I decided to go to my community pharmacy and learn stuff there. I THOUGHT it was going to be boring. I was SO wrong.
Let me tell you what I’ve done so far.
DAY 1
- Familiarised my self with the BP and Glucose measuring machines.
- Watched the pharmacist measure people’s BP and sugar, after which I was handed the task to measure the BP and Glucose AND counsel the patient on DM and HTN. ( when applicable laaa)
DAY 2
- Was taught how to use the uric acid and cholesterol measuring device
- Was given the responsibility to measure BP, Glucose, Uric acid, and Cholesterol AND counsel the pts on the respective diseases. :D without being supervised by the pharmacist!! :D
DAY 3
- Stood behind the counter, dispensed medication ( labelling and filling the prescription packet like in Sem 4) I was actually nervous when I was dispensing cause the pharmacist is actually garang, there was another diploma student training under him, and he scolded her when she dispensed the medication without labelling the packet. IN FRONT OF THE CUSTOMER. Thank GOD i wrote the label properly.
- Responded to symptoms!!! :D
- Taught a patient how to use Spriva!!!!!!!!
All of Day 3 activities were done under the supervision of the pharmacist. Pharmacist was impressed with my knowledge!!! :D (maybe he thinks i dunno anything, so when i could answer the questions, he was impressed. =.=”)
DAY 4 (TODAY!!!)
- Attended the launching of NiQuitin.( NRT patch and lozenge by GSK).
- It was cool!!! Fine, so I’ve never been to a product launch before, but it WAS fun. It was held at 1 world hotel. We each received a goodie bag!
The Goodie Bag
The contents…..
(a) The big horlicks 3in1 cereal drink.( got 15/20 sachets in it i think)
(b) Dequadin Pastilles
(c) A box of Panadol
(d) A Parker pen
The talk was great. It was abt NRT and all, and it was like a refresher course for me, since I’ve learnt it before. The fun part was when Prof Dr.Haniki, Head of Pharmacy Practice from IIUM or UIA started to talk because he was more focused on pharmacists and our role in NRT. He even taught us how to counsel effectively AND he was funny! :D
And then there was the lucky draw. 3 Apple IPod shuffles were up for grabs.
Dr. Haniki was the the first to go up and pull a number. And the number fell down. =.=”. Then he picked it up and read, “ No.30!”. Then the emcee was scanning the name list and called out “Shamala”.
:D
I WON!!!!!!!!! :D
They were giving 3 away, there was like 100++ of us there and I was the FIRST to win it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:D
And to think that I was planning on getting one this week. Now can spend the $$ on other things.. I need to shop! I just realised that I’ve forgotten to shop! *gasps*
And then we had makan, and then we went back to the pharmacy to work. More like being excited over the fact that I won la.. the whole pharmacy kecoh… :p
So, I rationalised the situation this way, I wanted to do my elective at GSK badly. And they ignored me. So in return, God made them give me an IPod! :D
Oh, and I LOVE my elective! Did I already mention that?
I also met a pharmacist which just resigned after her 4 year compulsory service to join retail pharmacy and chatting with her was great. She told me what expect and all la.. it was very nice to talk to her, and she is from USM.
By the way, all the pharmacists I met there are from USM, I think I was the only one from IMU. :(
I’m going to enjoy the rest of my day now… :)
April sucked. Seriously. It is like the month of deaths.
My uncle passed away at 6.40 am on the 27th of April. I received the news at 7.45am on the same day as I was preparing for my CPK exam, which was at 9.00 am. God knows how I did my exam. All I know is that during the first hour of the exam, I was on auto-pilot mode. I had everything in my head and I was doing it by default. There was no thinking involved. Thank God I managed to get a hold of my head and started to focus on my paper. And I double checked the things I did on auto-pilot mode, and it didn’t seem wrong to me. Who knows if it is right in the first place. My MSK day wasn’t a happy one either. On Sunday afternoon I was told that my uncle had 24 hours left to live, and so I was already emotionally disturbed on Monday. So yea, I honestly don’t care about my exam. I want to pass it and get it over with.
During the exam week, I kept regretting not going to see my uncle during the study break. I kept asking my self if this exam was worth missing my uncle. I honestly don’t know. Certain days during the exam week, I won’t freak out ( I usually do). In fact, the ENTIRE exam week was panic-attack free because I didn’t care anymore. I kept thinking, “Maybe I should’ve skipped exams for his funeral?”. But then again, the funeral was a Muslim one, meaning even if I went, I wouldn’t have been able to do much there.
It was an emotionally taxing week for me. When I call my cousins up, after the exchange of hellos, I can only hear uncontrolled sobbings on the other end of the receiver. What made me feel even worse is the fact that my late uncle was asking for me and my brothers during his last days. I kept thinking that there would be more time after exams. But I guess he couldn’t wait for me and brother to finish our finals.
I went down to Ipoh after exams to see my aunt. It was an emotional visit. I met up with my cousins and they made the visit more bearable. We went makan-makan and all. I think I gained like 5 kilos over the weekend…
Anyway, going back to why I call April the month of death, during the study break Joanne’s puppy died. Abby was just 3 months old. =(
And on the last day of April, I woke up thinking, “ Today is the last day of April, what else is going to happen?”. And as I was preparing for my Toxico paper, I get a text from one my closest friends informing me that the grandmother had passed away early that morning. My friend and I are very close, practically like sisters. And she was having her finals this week. So yea, it was a bad time for her too.
See, April indeed was a month of deaths.
I guess I have to bear the responsibility for my actions, and I have to live with the regret of not going to see my uncle. Don’t cry over spilt milk they say, just shut up and clean up the mess.
I’m hoping for a happier May.
I’ve been bitten by the lazy bug! :(
I attempted to read my notes yesterday, from the start of the day till the end, I was reading the same lecture! Every time I start to read the lecture, I yawn.
Today I told my self that I have to do better than yesterday, and so I did. Yesterday I failed to finish reading even 1 lecture, today I improved by completing 2 lectures in a day. Which is probably not much but compared to yesterday, I progressed! :D
Tomorrow’s goal: Finish reading 6 lectures!
I was suppose to study this weekend, but I kind of ended up going around KL.
I went to Mid Valley on Friday and bought 3 PAIRS of shoes!! (they were having some sale). Also, I bought a new bag from Bonita (They were also having sales!!!!)
AND I went make up shopping, :D AND I went looking for pretty hair clips and while I was browsing through some of the clips, the salesgirl thought I was buying them cause I was getting married. =.=” (Do I look 30???)
And then on Saturday my cousin and her hubby and my dear little nephew came down from Ipoh so I spent the whole day hanging out with them and going all around KL with them.
TODAY, we went out, AGAIN. And mind you my nephew is 3y.o, which means there was a lot of screaming and running around.
So now, I am attempting to complete the workshop for tomorrow.
The weekend was gr8! :)
I have loads to ask, but I don’t know who to ask. I shall start asking the questions soon.
I NEED AN EXPLANATION.
There is no such thing as difficult in life. I prefer to use complicated and time consuming but still do-able.
I’ve done a non-randomised non-clinical trial in my head and found that when a person uses the word difficult in conveying any message to someone else, the receiver of that message immediately has this thought that if something doesn’t work out, it is OK, cause it is difficult. I feel that the use of the word “difficult” has a very negative psychological impact on people.
When I was in Form 4, I had to do Additional Mathematics and everyone was saying that it was extremely difficult and so on and so forth. So, even before I attempted the subject, I had already made up a conclusion in my head that if I do badly for this exam, it is OK, because it is difficult. Meaning that it is OK to not do well in it. But then, once I started to force my self to work on it and improve my Add maths skills, I found that it was kinda easy. And today, when I came across this pic, I could not have agreed more. :)
I got this pic from here.
The past couple of weeks, I’ve had my moments when I know I’ve screwed up and I start freaking out. Well, most of the time, I didn’t screw up big time, just some small little thing and I end up over analysing it and I end up freaking out. Sometimes, when we feel like we have lost all hope, or when we are afraid, people around can really do wonders. =)
A little reassurance can go a LONG way.
Thank you Soo Siew Bing, Ai Xin, Sharon, Huey Chin, Khai Mei and the others who listened to my ramblings, calmed my nerves/imagination and reassured me. You guys are good listeners! :) Thank You
I had an epiphany today. I was just reflecting about my week, and somewhere from there I realised that I have grown! And I’m not talking physically. =.=”
I’m talking about emotional and mental growth. And it happened so fast, I was like “o.m.g.” I was thinking about who I was back in college and suddenly, when I compared to who I am today, I realised that I’ve grown. I know this sounds weird, but the thing is, I’ve never really analysed myself in terms of emotional progress as well as mental progress. ( when I say mental progress, I’m referring to the way I think, not my intelligence)
And after realising that I have, in certain ways, changed dramatically compared to who I was in 2006, I went “Wow.” When you analyse your self, and study how much you’ve grown, you would actually realise how much wiser you’ve gotten!
I know this whole “me-realising-how-I've-grown” thing is weird, but it just pointed out another fact to me; I’m too caught up with my daily life that I never stopped to smell the roses, or in this case, reflect on myself.
And in the midst of seeing how much I’ve grown, I also came to realize, another thing : Nothing is permanent.
I realised that nothing in life is static, and most of the times, even when you are unaware, or when you think YOU are static, things are moving in a dynamic flow. You just don’t see them. This dynamic flow then affects you subconsciously and you are too caught up with you work, you don’t realise it, until one fine day when you decide to reflect on your self and you notice.
Look at me now, I’m a BPharm student. Will I permanently be one? No. Although I will always be a student, I won’t always be a BPharm student. As people, we will constantly be changing and evolving and adapting ourselves depending on our situation. No matter how much, or how hard I wish that certain things never change, I know it will. If I keep telling myself otherwise, then I’m just fooling myself.
The earlier you realise that you have to face reality, the more realistic you become, the more practical you become and the more sensible you become.
Bottom line: IT IS TIME I ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I’VE GROWN UP AND I’M NO LONGER A TEENAGER AND THEREFORE, I SHOULD STOP ACTING LIKE ONE.
~The End~
If you could have your own theme song, what would it be?
Mine would be ‘The Imperial March’, for those of you who have no idea how it sounds like, it sound like this:
Yes, I’m kind of obsessed with Star Wars, NOT the latest ones but the older ones, episode 4,5 and 6. Those were awesome!!!
1.I have to study Cancer Chemo. Nothing wrong with it, it is just that every time I study a type of cancer, I think I’m gonna get it and die. (So yea, It depresses me.)But putting the depression aside, I have great reasons to smile about.
2.I have to study diseases which tend to favour women than men. Example : SLE, MS, Osteoporosis… and the list goes on… And like I’ve mentioned above, I keep thinking that I’m gonna get it and DIE. :(
3. Mogan told me something about sem 8 which made soooo UPSET. And that adds to the depression. :(
4.I have a high pile notes & guided reading which I’m going through right now, and it stresses me out, and hence the depression.
5. I’ve been drinking at least 3 cups of coffee on a daily basis for the past couple of weeks and I think I’m gonna get Osteoporosis, become infertile and reduce my immune system and also get kidney stones cause I’m also not drinking much water. (Did you know that coffee was capable of doing that to your body???)
What do you do when it wasn’t you, but they said it was? And there is no one to stand up for you.
This week has indeed been a week filled with us making decisions and choosing something over another.
I feel the need to point out something here, the fact that I hate making decisions. I’m a fickle minded person. And choosing a research project is not like deciding on what to eat.
NOTE TO SELF: NEVER open other research proposals once you’ve kind of made up your mind, because you’ll end up confused. Like me.
All I had to do is open ONE, just ONE other proposal and I found it interesting and the next thing I know, I’m all confused.
But then I knew I had to make a choice, and I made one. I was kind of sad when I got my paper signed by my supervisor. I don’t know why, but I think it is the hormones. And this may sound weird, but I was totally happy and back to normal after a couple of hours. I know.. weird.. I think I have emo issues..
Another decision which had to be made by the end of the week was my elective choice, Singapore or the industry?? I’ve not confirmed, but I have pretty much made up my mind on which to do. And that is the one which is going to teach me the most. :)
On a different note, I have no idea on what to watch tomorrow!!
Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 or the Imaginarium of Dr.Parnassus.( if I spelt it right)???
No IDEA!!!!!
I’ll be going out tomorrow, let's see if I can refrain from shopping..*fingers crossed*
