Crazy..

I am officially GOING CRAZY with the drama here. Like seriously, I just came back to work after like a week’s holiday.. and guess what?? there was an email waiting for me in my inbox, just waiting to explode with drama!

And I couldn’t care less of what it says.

Honestly, if we really cared of what EVERY SINGLE PERSON thought about the way we work.. we will never be able to do it.

Sham is thinking happy thoughts now.. not about thoughts of the email which accused me of things i didn’t even do because I didn’t even have the resources to do! Like seriously, I may know a thing or 2 about back-stabbing, but you’re not worth the trouble backstabbing cause you have no value to me.

I think every time some idiot does something to piss me off, I will repeat the mantra,”I am here to work, not to make friends” :)

In between

I HATE OFFICE POLITICS!!

When you’re nice to A who is archenemies with B, then you become enemies with B, but if you’re already friends with A and be nice to B, A will not be happy with you and sees you as a “traitor” when in reality, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING!!! ITS LIKE WALKING ON A TIGHTROPE!

Never in a million years did I think that I would be most preoccupied by office drama. I thought I was working with grown-ups but it feels like I’m going to kindergarten. SERIOUSLY, IT IS EXHAUSTING.

I guess I will take to heart what a good friend once said, “I am here to work, not make friends”. So yea, I already have good people who call themselves my friends, so I guess I don’t have to be BFFs with anyone else.

Sometimes I wonder why people like to consume themselves with unnecessary drama. What does it get you? WHY do you need to be so selfish?

You know what I’ve learnt? The so called “kampung” people are way, WAY nicer than the “city folk”. The “city folk” are so caught up in being “in” or God-knows-what that I believe they have lost a substantial amount of humanity from their souls. (Sorry if I am being abit harsh here, but I WILL NEVER GET WHY THESE PEOPLE ARE MEAN TO EACH OTHER!!!!!!)

“Kampung” people are simple people who knows what RESPECT is. And honestly, I feel that “city folk” are superficial, self-centered people. I consider myself a “city-folk” but hey, living in a simple town for a year has taught me many things about life and one of them is about respect for others.

In my “simple life” I had job satisfaction. Now, I don’t have that anymore. I feel redundant! I guess when you focus so much on drama, you have less job satisfaction.

So the conclusion of my inconclusive rantings above are… I AM GONNA REMAIN NEUTRAL. I WILL NOT TAKE SIDES. AND I AM HERE TO WORK AND NOT TO MAKE FRIENDS. I ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH AWESOME FRIENDS IN MY LIFE. TQVM!

The rough sea

Most of the times I wish that I never came back.

I miss the times where people around you are sincere, honest and NICE.

If I could go back in time, I would have told myself to stay on and not come back.

I’m so used to niceness that I feel suffocated by the politics and drama.

I take back whatever negative thing I have said about KB. And I wouldn’t mind another 4 years there. At least I would be happy.

:(

A rough fresh start

What does it feel like to be a FRP?

It feels heavy for me. I’m still fresh out of being a PRP. I got sent to a computerised hospital but I was trained in a manual hospital therefore I’m having some trouble transitioning, but all will be well in time, I believe as this is just a phase.

Everything seems new and different here. If I were a pegawai at my old place, I think I would have the confidence to manage what I’m suppose to manage, but here, where everything seems so alien to what I have come to known, I must say, I don’t have the confidence. But it will all come in time, I’m really hoping on that.

With this new phase I’m going through, I’m really glad to have the support and encouragement from my friends, both from KL and KB. I suddenly feel blessed to have many people cheering me on, and giving me support. And I thank God for that.

To my buddy, Huey Chin, hang on in there!!! I believe I will be calling u for advice on how to handle TDM cases soon! :) and p/s, I miss our morning chats over breakfast. :(

An ending to another chapter..

27/8/2012

The day I found out I got my FRP posting. At 3.40pm to be exact. Was told that I’ll be heading back to Selangor, Huey Chin will stay back in Kelantan, and Boy will go home to Sabah. Celebrated with frens. Ate some cake.

28/8/2012

My last day as a PRP at HRPZ II. Said my goodbyes. Took some pictures. Shed some tears. Celebrated Owi’s birthday. Ate some more cake.

29/8/2012

The day of packing. Met Akila. Had a good time chatting. Came home, continued to pack. Went for dinner with boy, one last time. Showed him the Kelantan river. Hung out at the clock tower till it was 8pm just to hear it ring. Sent him off to the airport. Made a scene at the departure counter. Came home, chatted with Huey Chin for 1++ hours. Pissed off with the house owner for turning off the internet.

30/8/2012

B’fast at Capitol. Ate their famous Nasi Dagang. Went to hospital to submit off forms. Said Goodbye to my dearest housemate. Shed some tears.. Picked up parents from the airport..took them for lunch. Sent them to the hotel. Packed up what was remaining. Found the surprise from Huey Chin!:D Officially moved out of the house.

31/8/2012

So here I am. Blogging once again from the hotel room. Getting ready to pay a visit to Pantai Irama later in the evening with my parents. I am a satisfied shopper today. Went to Pasar Siti Khadijah and bought the prettiest batiks I could find. You know what they say, they can’t make better batik than in Kelantan. OK fine. They don’t say that. I just made that up. Can’t believe today is my last day here. Will be heading back to KL tomorrow morning.( 8 hours of driving, God please bless my soul and pls give me patience) I think I will feed my self well before embarking from KB. I’m gonna miss this place. It will always have a special place in my heart. No matter how much I hated it here when I came here last year, the people I met here, the experience I got here, made me fall in love with this place. I’m scared to go to a new place. Everything will be new there. The people, the place, the work flow. I will need to adjust my self again.

I guess the main reason I’m feeling sad leaving this place is because of the family I found here. As Akila said, “Its not the place which you will miss, its the people you met here and the friends you are leaving behind.” I could not have said it any differently I guess. I have had the most AMAZING housemate. Being friends with a person is different. Living with them is another thing. I guess I have been blessed to have had good housemates/roommates when I was in Malacca and now here. Huey Chin, thank you for being the most understanding person here. Thank you for being there in my darkest moments, for teaching me how to “change facts” when the situation asks for it, and how to be a lesser diva! I could not have asked for a better housemate. I hope whomever the next person is, they won’t be as nice as me. No, its not that I want to curse you, I just don’t want to be replaced.. :( And if that BF of yours bullies you (which I don’t think he will), pls know that you can slap him.

To all the other amazing people who have been my close friend at HRPZ II, I greatly treasure the time and memories we had together. Hopefully, in the future, I would get to work with you guys and hang out with u guys again.

Its that time of my life, where I start a new chapter again. Last year, I went from undergrad to PRP. Now, I’m going from PRP to FRP. Hope everything goes well.

See you in SELANGOR!!! :)

Uncertainty

Here we are again. Full circle, after 1 year. Waiting for the news. Wondering where we will be ordered to serve. And how that is going to affect our lives.

I’m afraid.

Am I ready to deal with what is out there?

Am I ready to leave this place which I have been wanting to leave for a very long time?

Deep down in the pit of my stomach, I have this feeling. The feeling that I’m not gonna be prepared to deal with leaving this place. I have become so accustomed to my life here, the people here, that I know if I have to leave this place, I would be heart-broken to a certain extent. No matter how much I try to prepare my self for the worst case scenario, I know that when it comes, I won’t be prepared at all. Reality really hit me hard today. These may or may not be the last couple of days I have left here with my friends. How am I going to spend it? I have had so much of good, and bad memories here, with all the good people I have come to know, I really am wondering how am I going to say goodbye to all of them.

I’m getting rather annoyed with the same question from different people. “Dah dapat posting?”  And also let us not forget the other lovely question, “Kalau dapat Sabah, U ok ke?” Seriously, I don’t get why people are so concerned with my postings. Most of them who asked me are merely busy bodies who have nothing else better to do.

I have tried to mentally prepare myself. But only God knows if I am ready to deal with what’s in store for me.

A dear good friend told me this, “God won’t send you somewhere you can’t survive”. Knowing that, I believe that wherever I’ll get posted to, I will accept it and just go with it.

The final 5 weeks.

Funny how I have not updated my blog ever since I completed my logbooks. I guess it figures that my blogging mood is related to my stress level. So now that I’m writing something, it ought to mean that I’m stressed up with something. And that something would be my research! The final presentation at bahagian is this coming Monday and I’m suppose to be doing a GROUP WORK, but I feel that I’m doing the GROUP work ALONE. Not that I want to be judgemental or anything, but I can’t help but to notice that most graduates from a certain Uni seem to be very VERY problematic. I’m not sure whether it has anything to do with where they got their education or maybe its just their attitude, but most certainly, I DO NOT LIKE WORKING WITH THEM BECAUSE THEY ARE THE LAZIEST PEOPLE ON EARTH!

With 5 weeks of PRP life to go, I can’t help but to wonder where the next chapter will take me. In a way, I’m hoping that I will get a place which I did not list for in my placement form, and I don’t want to be retained here. I want to go for another adventure. Isn’t life boring if you stay at the same place for a long time? I guess deep down I have a heart of a nomad. Maybe I’ll get posted to Perak or Johor or Sabah or Langkawi! Who knows?? I’ll wait and see..but at the mean time, maybe I should start packing. Worse case scenario would be me having to unpack right? =)

With 2 months to go…

So my logbooks are completed. Minus the DIS logbook cause that's like my LAST station. Just completed my TPN (thank GOD for that!). M ready to be thrown back to hell (a.k.a OPD). But putting work aside, I’m really REALLY excited over my holiday plans!! =) Someone is GOING TO SYDNEY!! (although the initial plan was to go to Melbourne, it somehow changed to Sydney)

And also I’ll be heading to Cameron soon with the KB gang. So many plans and so little time to accomplish them all! I will be going back to KL nx week!

Also, since I’m PLANNING on leaving this place soon, I’ve decided to embark on a food trip ard KB and I’ll update ,my bloggie with the wonderful food of Kelantan. Like today, I had amazing mouth-watering Ikan Bakar at this hidden place. I mean, it’s yummy! like really yummy! but too bad my camera wasn’t with me. But nevermind, I shall be bringing my trusty camera along next time! =)

95% done.. =)

ok.. battle of the log books is over!! =)

Just finished my TPN viva just now.. so, everything is more or less settled! Just left with the following:

1. Fill up wang pos and settle the mini stuff
2. Wait for KPF to sign borang penempatan and appraisal form
3. WAIT FOR POSTING!

YUP! can’t believe that I actually completed my logbooks!!!! it feels kinda weird but good.. as if a burden has been lifted..and what a time to head back to KL.. with no worries! =)

Its finally coming to an end.. wee~~~

when u work with idiots

I think I attract idiots.

I think I attract irresponsible people.

I’m an Irresponsible-Idiot magnet!

Having to work with irresponsible idiots is one thing.

Having to clean up their mess is another. And people holding you responsible for what the other has done is ANOTHER thing.

Can’t wait to be rid of such idiots from my life.

The Battle of the Log Books!

And so it begins!

I have to submit my logbooks by 14/6 so that the whole “getting-the-signature” process can be done and so that I can submit the FINAL product to bahagian on 24/6!

This just means in the next 2 weeks I have to complete the 4 week TPN requirement(in 2 weeks!), do 4 viva’s (OPD,TDM, TPN, Pre-Packing) AND PASS THEM! Collect the logbooks from the preceptors…and fill up the 3 forms (Form 5, PRP appraisal, Borang Penempatan).

Sounds impossible??

I choose to believe that I can do that. And we’ll see how it goes… for now, back to my TDM slides! Patient has been in ward since 4/4/12. I wanna vomit blood already!!

After 9 months..

Last year this time I was busy preparing for my convocation. Now, M busy preparing to end my chapter of being a PRP. I am aware that most of my posts usually are of me complaining when I’ll be heading back to KL, when my PRP is going to end..and the list goes on. I guess I babble about those stuff coz I’m uncertain of what to do with my life after my PRP ends. Some are making plans to leave the service, to venture into business, some, like me, who have yet to figure things out, are just focusing on what I have to do currently, and try my very best to ignore the fact that I have yet to come up with a PLAN.

I had a plan. Maybe when I was surrounded with the right people, that plan seemed like a great one. Now, I don’t really know what I want. I guess I need to come up with a new plan.

Focusing on what’s ahead, I need to decide on where to ask for my postings. Although everyone might be expecting me to ask for KL, I think I might not ask for KL. I mean, I do miss the civilisation and atmosphere there, but having lived 24 years of my life with my parents, and now, living alone, I would like to live on my own. Face my own problems and solve them myself. What can I say, I’m enjoying my current way of life. Being responsible is something which I’m learning currently.

Hope everything goes as planned! =)

May! May! It’s MAY!!!

Yes, I am indeed as excited as my title sounds. I’m in MAY. 4 more stations to go. TDM, TPN, the last month in OPD, and alas! DIS. I remember looking forward to the day I will be in TDM and DIS! =) Now it’s really time for me to speed up my log books and what not, after all, I need to submit my transfer forms in another 6-7 weeks time and my log books in another 11 weeks time!!

Remember when I used to have a countdown of how many weeks were done?? Well, I lost count of that A LONG time ago but now I can start a countdown on WHEN I’M GONNA END MY PRP LIFE!! =D

Oh, did I mention that I’ll be back in KL from the 17th-19th of MAY??? =)

The 8th MONTH milestone

That’s right! Come next week, it would mark my 8th month as a PRP. I KNOW!!! ITS FAST!!!

Yesterday I was having this conversation with Radhika about how uncertain we are about our future. So I’ve decided we should just let the flow of things carry us to wherever we are suppose to go and we work from there. I also told her that we should have chosen a career in fashion(??!!!) (ignore me please, I was a bit off yesterday).

Anyway, I’ve started to pack my bags to go back to KB. (I will forever get depressed when it comes to this moment) But my work in unfinished and I can’t have my lunch until I finish it!

Also, I’ve come to realise that I really REALLY miss good friends. You know, the sort who would do anything for you. Where there is no sneaking around behind your back. Just plain good ‘ol honesty and sincerity. I miss that.

I’m also envious of Pumpkin’s life. Its so simple. She wakes up, someone prepares food for her, she eats, plays, sleeps. Everything else is taken care off.

I think the reason behind why I’m jealous of my dog’s life is because I’m upset that I have to go back to KB today. =(

Good Friday! =)

Its April the 6th and I’m blogging from my HOME!! =)

Things which I’ve come to realise and miss is the fact that my family still watches American Idol and I don’t (due to lack of facilities and time) and they can have a conversation about it and I’ll be all blur. Well, in case anyone is wondering, this is the first year where I’m not following American Idol..and now they’re down to the top 8? Wow! That’s fast!! Maybe even if I were staying home I wouldn’t really watch AI, mainly because I’ve been converted into a fan of ‘The Voice’! After 10 years or so of watching AI, I think I need something new. 

Speaking of new things, I’ve just completed the crazy 3-days-in-a-row graveyard shift at my hospital and I found it exhausting!! Maybe I’m too pampered, maybe I’m not used to it.. whatever the reason is, it exhausts me. The only plus point I get from this system is the extra 2 days off, which, as you can see, is being spent here in KL! :)

So the new PRPs are here. That just increases our number to 35 PRPs. Which isn’t much if you ask me as last year they had like 43 or 45 or 48.. not very sure, but all I know is that they definitely had a number larger than ours. Either way, I have another 4-5 months left, which is not much if you see it, but I still feel like I’m lacking the knowledge needed to be a Pegawai, and to think that in 5 months time that is what I’m suppose to be and amount of responsibility which I will have to take on is SCARY.

There are days where I wake up wondering why am I in this profession? I don’t hate my job, I would say that I like my job, but at the same time, I’m questioning if this is really what I would like to do for the rest of my life? Reading some update on the MPS website about private hospitals and community pharmacies as well as industries being able to train PRPs also makes me wonder if it is a good thing that I’m being trained as a PRP now? I can’t help but to be envious of the junior batches as they will have the chance to be trained in the industry or community pharmacy. How I wish I had that chance! =(

Enough of pouting and frowning. I wouldn’t want to increase the number of wrinkles on my poor face. I need to go and get ready to fetch my mom and head to the movies! Yes, Sham is heading to the movies with her mom! I think we’re gonna watch Mirror, Mirror. But I’ve haven’t made up my mind if I wanna shop or watch a movie. I don’t wanna do both cause I’m afraid my mom would be too tired, after all, i’m picking her up after work and its not like she getting any younger!

Another thing which I just realised about my self is that I SUCK big time at making decisions!!! arghh!! I’m horrible when it comes to deciding stuff!! pergghhhh!!!

Its 31st of March!

Yes! Another month done and over with. But… the list of “to-do” things just simply continues to pile up. Why you ask? It has become clear that procrastination is my biggest demon. I dunno why, maybe its because I think I’m not a student anymore, and that I am a working adult, I just refuse to homework! Ok, fine. Its not that I REFUSE. I’m just taking longer than the normal Sham would take. Maybe I’m just bored of doing case reports.. I dunno. But either way, I need to be done with my case reports by the end of 2mrw and I need to submit my log books and I’ll be the guinea pig for a new system. Yes, the new night shift system in my hospital. Effective 1st April 2012, I’ll have to do 3 days in a row of night shifts. Oh, and I’ll be at OPD at that time which means there will be no one to replace me at counter. Oh well. It’ll be chaotic as usual. When is it *not* chaotic again? Never.

Work aside, I’m just super glad I’ll be over with my PRP-ship soon!Its fast how time flies. This time last year, I was probably busy studying for my last exam in IMU. And now here I am, busy trying to get things in order so that I can complete my PRP-ship. I feel old already. =(

Week 29 update!

We’re 7 months in and in another 3 weeks time, it will mean that I’ve been here for 8 months. I have a feeling that from here onwards, time is gonna move super duper fast till I wanna make it stop! Oh well, ain’t that life? Moves slowly when u want it to be fast and moves super fast when u want it to be slow.

Gotta get all my log books ready! =) 5 more stations to go!

Just got back from KL and already missing it. I was just not meant to be away from KL.

BTW, I’m usually depressed at this time, but m super happy because I had the most invigorating conversation over breakfast with an old friend and we came up with a plan. A plan which I’m gonna see through! =)

We’re half way there

Its been 6 months now since my PRP life started, and yeah, I’ve pretty much gotten used to everything, the work, the life, the speed. But above all, I’m almost done. Well, almost wouldn’t exactly be the best word to describe the 6 month mile stone, but what the hell! I’m being optimistic here!

I was planning my “off” days for the coming months and realised that the next 6 months are gonna fly by super fast, maybe because I’m currently doing my last 6-week stint at satellite pharmacy, after this, all my attachments would only last a month. In chronological order; OPD,TDM,TPN,OPD,DIS. then I’M DONE! *hopefully* it all goes well. And maybe next year this time, I’ll be in KL! *praying really hard u know*

Anyways, its been a while since I last updated my dear beloved bloggie. So what have I been up to? Well, in no particular order, lemme show what has been going on..

Mr.Lee’s farewell!! =( Our KPF, Mr.Lee left..

I did some spiritual adventures during the CNY break..

 

Visited the sitting Buddha.. its huge, and you’ll pass it while ur on your way to Pengkalan Kubor ( a duty-free place). Impossible to miss this one.

The sleeping Buddha. Another HUGE statue.. and this one is more historic. The temple has been here for over 30o years now. But this statue was only built in the 70’s if I’m not mistaken.. More shots from the sleeping Buddha temple..

Some drawings beneath the sleeping Buddha..

The 300 year old temple!!!!

The monk there told me that this is the “bho” tree,or something coz it was hard to understand. Btw, the majority of the people taking care of the Buddhist temples here are Siamese, and they usually are only able to speak their language, so communication is kinda hard.

This well has been in operating for over 300 years and reportedly has never run dry yet!

Then during the 2 days of holiday which I got during CNY, my parents came up and I took them to KT! =)

The ‘batu bersurat’ roundabout.. correct me if I’m wrong, my history sucks.. :p

One thing i noticed abt KT, they have super CUTE public busses!!!!

Then I went to the beach.. pantai batu buruk. I think its nicer than PCB.

We went to visit the mosques..

The floating mosque..

The miniature ones..

I forgot the names of the mosques, which explains why I just uploaded the pics..and then I also visited the crystal mosque!!!

By the way, this picture seriously reminds me of Aladdin!!! I dunno why!!! :p

Thats all for this time, I need to go finish 2 case reports for my CDR log book. =)

Bye Bye January

As the first month of the year comes to an end, I’m battling day-in-day-out for my head in CDR. Why is being in CDR such a problem you ask? Let me assure you, it has nothing to do with the drugs or reconstituting them. In fact I can say that I’m a bit fearless when I “dress-up” to enter the clean room. Lets just say I’m starting to believe that the evil witch from wizard of oz has escaped to my world!! arghhhh!!! 3 more days left before I’m 50% done with it. CDR is an interesting place, you get to learn new stuff, see new things and gain a new experience. Its kinda fun you know.

Chinese New Year was around the corner and I spent it how? By sitting back and relaxing by the beaches of Terengganu. I must say, I envy the PRPs there! Their hospital is NEXT TO THE FREAKING BEACH!!! My CNY holidays were well spent I must say, since I only had 2 days off and I couldn’t head back, sitting by the beach seemed ideal to me.

Heading back to KL in 3 more days!!! ~Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~

Week 22!

Yes, as the title says, WEEK 22 BAYBEH!!!

I’ve done 5 months plus, and another 7 to go! With all my seniors getting transferred back, I’m staying optimistic! =)

Week 22 marks the end of my rotation at Galenicals. Well, it was a fun time there. I don’t get why some people say that its a waste of time, or its the best time to skip it, because honestly, there is ALOT to learn if you look properly. Things which aren’t taught at the counter while dispensing, the chemistry of things, why is this given in such a way. I feel kinda sad that I only have 2 weeks there and there is SO much to learn and digest!!

Dreading the coming 4 weeks, when I’ll be in CDR. *sigh* Hope all goes well.

Life here is getting super boring! If not for the company I have here, I’ll probably die of boredom – seriously! I’ve been cut out from the entertainment world far too long. At times, I seriously miss the times where I used to sit and watch E!News, The Hills, Laguna Beach… yea, and all the other bimbo shows. There just seems like there is no more time in my current life for me to do so. And lets not begin with the lack of shopping and unwinding places available here in KB! Yes, there are places to chill, but if you keep going back to the same place, it gets kinda boring. I’m in need for something fresh and new, and unfortunately KB has nothing of that sort to offer me. So the conclusion is, I should continue counting down to the day I leave this place.

Today as I was on my way to work, I realised that I haven’t worn heels in AGES!! And that is probably because even with flats the flooring of my hospital sometimes threatens to make me skid! But I do really, really miss my heels and I’m intentionally leaving them in KL so that I won’t deliberately wear them to work.

Speaking of work, it is research season here, and I’m kinda excited about my title. Its something new for me, and its interesting, possibly publication worthy IF I find something great, and if I don’t, it will still be able to give an impact of some kind. Bottom line is, I’m hyped up about my research topic and having interest in your topic is important to make it work!

=)

2012

The first week of 2012 was awesome! Spent time with the family, shopped like a crazy person, and for once in a long, long time, I got to enjoy the weekend! Yes, having a full weekend while I’m in KB is rare, but it happens. And what makes me feel even better is that from now till September, I only have like 4 weekend shifts. A good thing considering that i had like 4-5 shifts in the last 4 months. Thank you new PRP!!! =) This month is kinda relaxing, I’m at Pre-packing, after I’m done with pre-packing I’ll be headed to CDR. To see it now, I feel that time is moving fast! And I’m glad that it is.