The Letter

I finally got my letter today.

Yes, that long awaited letter that everyone (in KL that is) seemed to have got on Saturday, which I did not, but instead I got it on Monday. (I shall not go into a hissy fit and diss my postal service, instead I’ll be glad that they did deliver it)

I’m a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. And I also have some pretty serious anxiety issues. When I did not get the letter on Saturday, I was anxious. And to think that I would have to wait till Monday to see if I get it, is a pretty daunting for a person who has anxiety issues, especially when I was wondering if I even passed the interview! So I guess the delay was God’s way of asking me to deal with my anxiety issues. ( I know, I seem to have a lot of issues!! )

So yes, after much reassurance from a few close friends, I did not freak out till the postman reached my house today. (By not freak out, I mean not yell/scold the postman, but I did curse the fact that he only comes after 1! And I’ve never really paid much attention to the postman until today. Hmm..)

I was being offered ‘Perlantikan Tetap ke Jawatan Pegawai Farmasi Gred U41’ – which means I’m being employed by the government to work as a pharmacist! (1 year training + 3 years compulsory service = M free to opt out of the government service with my license after 4 years)

My first reaction was, “Thank GOD the letter is here!! THE LETTER IS HERE!!!”. And after I got that letter, and was glad that I received it, I did not really know how to react. I mean, this is it. I’m going to enter the working life, leaving my student life behind.( well, technically speaking its not the end of my student life yet as I need to be a student again when I get my Masters and PhD)

I don’t feel like I’m ready.

I guess when we all start off, we don’t feel like we’re ready for it, we kinda get used to it once we start doing it.

The irony is, I waited all these months for this letter, and now that it is here, I’m afraid of what it is going to bring me.

Now that I’ve received this letter, I need to wait another letter which will tell me where I’m being posted to. Honestly, I’m not really worried about where I’ll be posted to, as I said earlier, everything happens for a reason, so I will be posted to wherever it is for a reason - which only God knows. But I’ll accept wherever I get. I’ve already mentally prepared my self to take what they give me and make the best of it!

I’m not where I pictured myself to be, but I know that in order to reach where I want to be, I have to go through whatever I’m going through now.

The past is not for us to dwell upon and wonder. What we should be is focused on the present and what are the possible hurdles awaiting us in the future, and how to overcome them. Be thankful for the past as without it, we will not be where we are today, knowing what we know today. And whatever is going to come our way, it comes our way for a reason, and we should embrace it rather than push it away.