Baby steps..

Lets be honest now, I have a fear for commitment. 
And today, I did something random. 

I committed. 

Everything seems OK now. Once I did it, it felt empowering!
Now I have all I need to continue.

23/03/13 @ 3.00pm

:)

When everything does not go as planned

When I was 16, I had it all planned out. The great 10-year-plan, where my life was headed, how it would turn out and how its gonna be. 

Fast-forward 10 years to NOW. Is it anywhere near what I had planned? NO. Is it going to be? I DON'T KNOW.

Somewhere over the last 10 years, my dreams and goals in life have slightly changed. I still remember what my ultimate goal in life was. But right now, I'm thinking that I should just live in the moment and seize the unexpected. Sounds weird, unplanned and very spontaneous but something over the last couple of months has changed me in a way even I don't know. Heck, I don't really know what I want anymore. Ask me what I wanted in life 2 years ago and I would have given you a long essay. Ask me now and I'll say, " We shall see where the river flows". This of course is not going down very well with my parents ( I haven't told them about my change of plans yet) and they keep mentioning when I'm going to carry on with my "future plans" and I keep making excuses to delay them.

I'm trying not to over think this, maybe its just my quarter-life-crisis, or maybe I don't want the same things I wanted in life 10 years ago. Either way, I'll  just let things play it out and I'll decide later. I'm very happy with where I am in life right now, lets not ruin that now shall we?

Crossroads

Sometimes in life, we get a chance to do something which might change our lives for the better, but it involves  sacrificing some form of comfort. Well, to look at it in a whole, its more of a give and take situation. Its like giving up shopping so that you can save money, or something around that line. 

There is where I am right now. With opportunity for change knocking at every corner, I wonder if I should remain static, or should I do it? Make a move that will change my career. 

Can't decide right now. But what's for sure, I'll be deciding pretty soon. And I hope I get something good from it.

Hoping that my mini ramblings will solve my crossroad issue, lets move on to something I am more than happy to share with everyone,my Cambodia trip! :) I've already booked my hotel, now am just waiting to see the right price for the air ticket to purchase it. Am feeling very happy about my Siam Reap trip. Have been wanting to see the Angkor Wat and the killing fields and I hope that I get to do that on my trip. 

First Saturday of February

The second month of 2013 is here. Spent the day with my bff since kindergarten (no, m not kidding, we've been friends since that long), haven't met her since we came back from Sydney. Spent a good time catching up and planning our next trip ( Hint: Cruise! :D ) We decided to head to Sunway Pyramid where we attacked every possible store doing some last minute CNY shopping.

Watched Hansel and Gretel and let me tell you now, DON'T WATCH THAT MOVIE. Unless you have nothing else better to watch and you want to see some blood and pass time. Seriously was a waste of time. Should have just went for skating instead!

We were deciding which places we should visit and here's the list:

1. Canada (Niagara Falls)
2. Beijing ( The Great Wall)
3. Kathmandu
4. Cambodia
5. Phuket & Krabi
6. Germany

Lets see how much we can accomplish in the coming years.

The Year 2013

So, its 2013 and I haven't made any depressing entries yet! Kudos to me! :D

Sometime ago I noted that I only make blog entries when I am stressed or annoyed or when I have something to complain about. Well, one of my many new year's resolution is to STOP complaining (but I will from time-to-time, so pls just listen.. :p)

Well, before I begin ranting about the plans I have for 2013, lets take a moment, to look back and reflect on 2012. What can I say about 2012? It was a year full of learning. I learnt how to survive in a kampung, I fell in love with that kampung, I came back to the city, I was thrown into the depths of maniacal (if that even is a word) office politics, and now, in 2013, I realised that I have learnt so so SO much about life. :)

2012 was also the year where I took a long vay-cay alone minus parents and all in a land far far away with my bestie since I was 6 years old. Sydney was fun and awesome and I wished it didn't end, but like all good things, it ended and a month has passed, but every 2 days or so I will reminisce and miss the 7 days and 6 nights I spent there with my awesome buddy. :) p/s: pics are on FB!!

So,its already almost the end of the first month of 2013 and I gotta say, things are looking good for me! :p

Seriously. 

I somehow managed to create this invisible wall around me when I work, so now, I just work, and talk with the people I work with about "neutral" things, and life goes on. With no drama. :) 

I'll also be heading to Chiang Mai for 5 days starting this Thursday, so there's another adventure for me! yay!! 

Am also planning to head to Sabah to see some people which I've missed over the years and some people who have recently moved there for work purposes. Also let us not forget my trip to Singapore!! :D

My current TV addictions are; Downton Abbey, TVD, Greys, PLL, New Girl & Hart of Dixie.

M patiently waiting for the return of Game of Thrones and also Borgias.. 2 amazing and dramatic shows. By the way, has anyone watched The Carrie Diaries? Its a prequal to SATC, and I also think its an attempt to replace GG. Yes, GG has ended, and to those whom have not watched it yet, I shall not spoil it for u. :) Ripper street is also a new series which I've only watched the first episode. It looks interesting, and I guess I would need to watch a few more episodes before I decide whether or not its worth watching. But I have to say, my most serious addiction is Downton Abbey. I guess since I'm an Austen fan, and my favourite book from her is Pride and Prejudice and Downton resembles that story in many ways, hence, I'm addicted to it. I just feel that in Downton, the roles are reversed, where the girl is rich and the guy isn't. I'm only at Season 2 right now but I'm seriously wishing that Lady Mary and Matthew become an item! Also, Idol has started, and for some reason, I don't feel like watching it anymore.. maybe its because of the new judges, or maybe because nowadays, yours truly is a fan of The Voice! :p 

Yes. So far 2013 is looking good for me! So I'm really hoping that it will stay this way for another 11 months or so, cause I really need it to be that way.

Crazy..

I am officially GOING CRAZY with the drama here. Like seriously, I just came back to work after like a week’s holiday.. and guess what?? there was an email waiting for me in my inbox, just waiting to explode with drama!

And I couldn’t care less of what it says.

Honestly, if we really cared of what EVERY SINGLE PERSON thought about the way we work.. we will never be able to do it.

Sham is thinking happy thoughts now.. not about thoughts of the email which accused me of things i didn’t even do because I didn’t even have the resources to do! Like seriously, I may know a thing or 2 about back-stabbing, but you’re not worth the trouble backstabbing cause you have no value to me.

I think every time some idiot does something to piss me off, I will repeat the mantra,”I am here to work, not to make friends” :)

In between

I HATE OFFICE POLITICS!!

When you’re nice to A who is archenemies with B, then you become enemies with B, but if you’re already friends with A and be nice to B, A will not be happy with you and sees you as a “traitor” when in reality, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYTHING!!! ITS LIKE WALKING ON A TIGHTROPE!

Never in a million years did I think that I would be most preoccupied by office drama. I thought I was working with grown-ups but it feels like I’m going to kindergarten. SERIOUSLY, IT IS EXHAUSTING.

I guess I will take to heart what a good friend once said, “I am here to work, not make friends”. So yea, I already have good people who call themselves my friends, so I guess I don’t have to be BFFs with anyone else.

Sometimes I wonder why people like to consume themselves with unnecessary drama. What does it get you? WHY do you need to be so selfish?

You know what I’ve learnt? The so called “kampung” people are way, WAY nicer than the “city folk”. The “city folk” are so caught up in being “in” or God-knows-what that I believe they have lost a substantial amount of humanity from their souls. (Sorry if I am being abit harsh here, but I WILL NEVER GET WHY THESE PEOPLE ARE MEAN TO EACH OTHER!!!!!!)

“Kampung” people are simple people who knows what RESPECT is. And honestly, I feel that “city folk” are superficial, self-centered people. I consider myself a “city-folk” but hey, living in a simple town for a year has taught me many things about life and one of them is about respect for others.

In my “simple life” I had job satisfaction. Now, I don’t have that anymore. I feel redundant! I guess when you focus so much on drama, you have less job satisfaction.

So the conclusion of my inconclusive rantings above are… I AM GONNA REMAIN NEUTRAL. I WILL NOT TAKE SIDES. AND I AM HERE TO WORK AND NOT TO MAKE FRIENDS. I ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH AWESOME FRIENDS IN MY LIFE. TQVM!